I’ve been working with vulnerability since the new year. It may appear that this is a resolution or intention spurred by the change in the calendar year. Oddly enough that is not the case. In fact I have begun to notice that the real work of growth (which is the word I intentionally chose for 2020) always shows up when I’m least expecting it. This is how vulnerability came to land on my radar and how it’s sovereign practice has left me forever changed.
I had experienced several encounters that had me feeling transparent. Encounters with family and friends both old and new. Initially I found myself trying to dismiss these stirrings until I found myself situated in a circle of strong intuitive women. These women are each their own unique blend of light workers, intuitives, mothers, sisters and spaceholders. I sat in this circle knowing I could spout something on my surface, which I fully contemplated. I also knew these women would not challenge whatever I chose to share, they would hold space for me as long as I needed. However I new they would see straight through that veil. In this safe space and in that scary, uncomfortable yet fully liberating moment I chose to give in. I gave in to the grip of my insecurities, I chose to give in to my vulnerability. As I shared my wishes and needs I found myself streaming tears. Tears of gratitude, tears of joy and relief for I had finally given in to the supreme desire to be seen. I cried out the fear that had kept me small, that had kept me cramped up behind thick walls constructed of self limiting beliefs. in that blissfully awkward moment I chose to fully step forward to be seen. With all of myself sitting in the light. This light of the divine and the light that is embodied within each of my sisters and my brothers. I released my grip, initially I expected to free fall but instead I have come to know the sensation of soaring. My lift being creating by the blessings and the trust in knowing this tribe, this family of light and sentient beings has become my air current my enduring support.
To each of you, in your heart you know that I am truly speaking to you. Your light, your love, support, encouragement and kindness is by far the best gift I could receive. When I stepped onto this path of teaching yoga and it’s practices I never could have conceived of the supreme gifts of divine friendship that would be offered to me. Of course within my wisdom I knew I would receive what I chose to give. But what is being currently reflected back at me has me streaming tears of gratitude once again.
Forever and always you will live in my heart.